Epis0de 95
If it is what it is, then what is it?
Ever heard someone say, “Everything happens for a reason?”
Of course you have; you’re a human being. It’s one of humanity’s favorite coping mechanisms, a time-tested phrase to keep around because it sounds comforting and makes things sound a little less hopeless, even for a little while. The concept is simple enough, especially if you’re religious. Somewhere out there, your preferred Higher Power is carefully orchestrating events according to their grand plan, and every disappointment, setback or tragedy serves some sort of purpose. A purpose that you don’t ever need to doubt or question because, from your limited human perspective, you're simply too close to the painting to see the full picture.
So when you lose your job, it’s because a better opportunity is just beyond the horizon. When a relationship ends, it’s because it was leading you away from where and/or who you’re supposed to be. You get the idea. I don’t hate it, to be honest. It’s perfectly fine to want to put your faith in the existence of some kind of divine order to the everyday chaos of existence. Especially when the alternative is far more depressing. But the issue now is that I’ve been in a mildly existential funk all week, and I have nothing more cheerful to talk about. So for tonight’s Epis0de I thought I’d kick at the rickety three-legged stool of someone’s faith just to see what happens. You know, for the sheer, sadistic entertainment value.
Because the funny thing about life is that it occasionally presents evidence that said Higher Power might be improvising as they go along (which means they have no fucking clue, just like you), or that no one’s actually in charge and SHIT JUST HAPPENS. Not as a lesson or a test, or some grand, mysterious plan that will make sense twenty years from now. Just cosmic entropy: random, untethered and ignorant of your feelings. No hidden reason why that pigeon dropped that precisely-aimed shit all over your shirt just outside the venue of your interview. And no hidden reason why last month I made the most money I’ve ever made as a DJ, only to lose it all in the events I recounted in this previous Epis0de posted below. Because if it was indeed part of a grand, divine plan, it feels suspiciously similar to the handwork of village people:
Now I’m not saying that life is pointless. King Solomon already said that. But I do believe that humans tend to be overly committed to finding the meaning in absolutely everything. I know it’s not a particularly comforting thought when you’re wired to look for an explanation every time something bad happens, and of course it’s your right to do so if that’s how you deal. It’s just that sometimes there just isn’t any greater lesson to learn. It is what it is. Not every instance of pain and suffering is meaningless, but sometimes a bad thing is just a bad thing. Sometimes you’re supposed to just take the hit, suffer for a bit, and move on with a new appreciation for the random ridiculousness (or is it ridiculous randomness?) of life. Maybe you even get a funny story out of it if you survive.
Which, now that I think about it, is probably a lesson. When I just said that there wasn’t one.
*Sigh*
God damn it.