Epis0de 87
I hope this Epis0de finds you however it finds you.
You ever worry about life?
Trick question. Of course you do; you’re a human being. And if you have the terrible luck of being a Nigerian, in Nigeria, in 2026, then that worry most likely runs in the background of your mind like one of those mobile pedometer apps you can use to count your daily steps. Just constant, silent, always there. So if you’re someone just like me who feels like things in this country have gotten more out of hand than usual, don’t let anyone gaslight or silence you. Yes, the house is on fire, and that is smoke that you’re smelling. And the year just started o. It’s still only Q2. That’s part of what’s crazy about the general fuckitude of everything.
Because it’s always something, isn’t it? Sure feels that way most of the time, whether big and chaotic or small and irritating. Issues that conspire to take as much of your time, energy and money as possible. Here’s one for example. Do you have a car and/or a generator? You do? Wonderful. Then you must’ve played the new game that’s taking the country by storm. It’s called Guess What The Fuel Price Is Today! No, seriously. You actually never know what price it’s gonna be when you rock up to the petrol station with your car or keg. It could be higher by five hundred Naira, or lower by three hundred Naira. Big Liko, patron saint of the Nigerian economy, have mercy upon us.
Speaking of apps and games, there’s something else that also runs in the background of the gainfully employed mind (or even right in front, depending on how much financial jeopardy one is in). I’m talking about the timer that starts the countdown from one salary week to the next. And we love a salary week, don’t we? It’s the long-awaited week where you get to cover your cost of survival for the current month and most of the next, thus kicking the can of poverty and destitution a little further down the road. By the way, if you’re a praying person, do prayers effectively ward off unforeseen expenses? Let me know so I can go reintroduce myself to God as a matter of urgency.
I think things might be getting to me a little more than I care to admit lately. First, I've never published on back-to-back Saturdays before. I’m also currently typing this without my glasses, which I never do. It feels like I’m typing on two laptops at once, and it’s probably why I have this ache just behind my eyes. I didn’t even mean to publish this tonight. I started this rant last year and abandoned it after the first paragraph, but then I spotted it in my drafts and everything I felt that random day in 2025 just came rushing back. Next thing I know I’m writing my merry, meandering way into a crashout. Kyrie eleison.
But I believe that moments like these are important for one’s long-term sanity. Unless you’ve actively contributed to the current state of things (which is unlikely unless you’re a serial killer, or a card-carrying member of the APC), then you’re allowed to pause every once in a while and go “Omo, wetin dey really happen?” Not every feeling needs to be productive. Sometimes it can just be you reacting how a normal person should in these deeply abnormal circumstances. Anyway. I'm gonna go rest my eyes before I actually start seeing double my problems.
Happy weekend, where applicable.